Flake

What a gross word.

Blogosphere, I don't know what you immediately think of when you hear or see that word, but for me, I'm thinking of just a whole plethora of extremely unattractive things-- like, dead skin flakes, or dandruff; maybe the sick-smelling fish flakes I used to feed my Betta with (R.I.P., Dallas..). But today, when I hear or see the word, I'm thinking of the worst kind of all.. the most unwanted and unpleasant and rude.

A flake.

You know a flake. You're thinking of him/her(s) right now. Everyone knows a flake or two.

1. flake

n. an unreliable person; someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through.

2. flake

(verb, often used with "out") - To decide not to go at the last second; to "ditch" or "bail out."

3. flake

n. a useless, shady, deceitful person who is so unreliable and selfish they cause you much anger and frustration... A flake will make plans, .. and never attend, even after they spent hours calling or emailing you. You can never rely on a flake.

Thank-you, urbandictionary dot com, for such an enlightening and sadly accurate definition of such a person. And the thing about flakes is that if they had just been a little more honest with the victims of their flakiness right off the bat, they probably wouldn't be called a flake at all. All I mean is this: Flakes are rarely victims of unexpected circumstances. Imagine. Your friend is in town for a weekend and he or she sends you a message that says something along the lines of "Hey! I'm visiting for the wknd. Let me know if you're free cause I'd love to see you for a bit to catch up!". Let's be honest. Upon the reception of such a message, you already know whether or not you are going to end up seeing this friend. It's so clear to you since you're a flake.

Now if only you would make it that clear to your "friend" too.

Now I'm not saying that flakes don't like their friends or that they are are horrible people with dark black hearts, and I'm sure that they would in fact like to see their friends on occasion. But alas, they have an insanely large family reunion planned for that weekend, or they are scheduled to work, or it's Grandma Yogi's 90th birthday party on Saturday, or they know that their parents would never lend them the car for the weekend, or they know that they have a class presentation that afternoon, or they recently bought a yacht and therefore can't afford to go out and spend money for the next 3 months, or maybe they just know that they are flaky people with reputations of flakily flaking on their non-flaky and fellow flaky friends alike.

Those may all be great reasons to avoid seeing your visiting-for-the-weekend friend, and since you already know that all that is going down that very weekend, you should just tell your friend "Hey, I'd love to see you but unfortunately, Yogi, my nana, is turning freaking ninety and I'll be at her birthday bash all weekend long. Let me know the next time you're in town!"... immediately.

If you respond to your friend [several times.. flakes always respond back and forth several times before they pull the flake trigger, don't they?] with any message other than the above, then you have just created the worst sort of flake party. See, you must remember that while you already know that you won't be seeing your friend and that the fun back-forth banter/plans are just out of your own politeness, your "friend" actually thinks that he or she is going to see you. And he or she is already canceling other plans in order to meet with you. So you see, jack-hole, I put "friends" in quotations because after a stint like this, you're not allowed to call them that anymore.

Flakes.

Unless you're made out of snow or covered in frost, I dislike you and what you do and all that you stand for. And I am not telling you the next time that I'm in town for the weekend.

[Afterthought: It may just be me. I have the worst sort of luck with these last-minute changes of plan or cancellations. Maybe I can conduct some studies to find out for sure. I'll keep you all updated, bloggies.]

- bcl

A-Game

Why do you always want to court aged men?

Calling all senior citizens of the GTA.

Must love God. Must be well-aged.

White hairs optional.

Walking stick provided.

-- Veto, skype 2011

I think this is the most hilarious that I have ever been. I am with my best friend right now (for the first time in far too long) and I am just so happy to be with her.

Chev, I thank God for you everyday..

To quote Renae.

- bcl.

At the end of the yellow brick road..

The plane landed yesterday at approximately 12:30 p.m. in Detroit, Michigan.


God gave me a very special welcome-home present. The weather was perfect. The sky is so blue, the air is so fresh, the grass is so green, the clouds are so white. You know, the whole shindig.

When I arrived home yesterday, at 178 Easton Dr. of South Lyon, Michigan, I felt so happy. It was almost kind of weird. Like, I couldn't even explain what I was so happy and giddy about.

But I will say this: I absolutely marveled at the size of everything in my house, including the actual house. Especially my refrigerator. I'm serious. I must have the world's most enormous fridge. I couldn't get over it. I just stared at it and opened and closed it, then opened and closed it again. Also, I took my socks off and walked around on my carpet, which has never felt so soft. (I haven't stepped on carpet in three months). And I don't think I have ever been so happy to see the ready supply of microwave popcorn in my cupboard.. along with the large unopened bag of Lay's ketchup chips waiting for my arrival, which Felix and I gladly finished off in a few hours.

And oh my God. My bed.

With the combination of intense jet lag (on top of an all-nighter the day before) and my own bed and blanket, I don't think I have ever had such a good night's sleep.

So, in conclusion, to quote Dorothy, "there's no place like home."



-bcl.

The biggest lie I ever told

Person 1: Well, this is it. Our last night here. We're flying home tomorrow. I'm so sad. I'm really going to miss this.

Person 2: Yes, but that's okay. We're going home so at least you'll get to be home and see those friends.

Person 1: I know, but, well, it's just that.. you know. This place. These people. I'm going to miss it all.

Person 2: Yeah. But don't worry. Home's good. You're going to be okay. We're going to be okay. And take it from someone who's been around and has had to say a lot of goodbyes. It all gets easier. You get used to it.

Liar.

It never gets easier and you never get used to it.

Don't get me wrong.

Of course I like to travel and to meet new people. But that's only because I make new friends without the intention of ever leaving them. I never think about how after our time together, we will have to part ways; maybe for a little while. Maybe for a long time. Or maybe forever. Because if I made friends that way, well.. I'd never make any.

I spend too much of my time missing someone or some place or some thing. Every moment that I spend in one place with one person is a moment that I'm not spending in some other place with some other person. I can never have it all.

Because Life is an adventure. But if you aren't careful, it might end up being a very lonely one.

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?

I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.

I have to learn to better seal my blessings and to make some room in my suitcase so that I can pack them up and keep them forever. Take them with me wherever I go next.

Hong Kong, it's been real. Hello-goodbye.

- bcl.