The Chronicles of "Bithiah" (Part 2)

Dear Blogosphere,

About a year ago, I wrote this blog post titled The Chronicles of "Bithiah" (Part 1), and it was obviously a huge hit. At the time, I titled it Part 1 because I thought that I had enough stories to write a Part 2. While that is certainly true, I think that today's time will be much better spent discussing the root cause of many of my gender-confused, name-related chronicles instead.

All my life, I have had to live with a name that isn't feminine. Whenever someone meets me in person and hears my name, they always respond with something along the lines of, "Oh, wow. What a beautiful name! It's so pretty and unique." But for those who read my name before seeing me in person, they are usually left scratching their heads, wondering all sorts of things about this "Bithiah". And sometimes, they think I'm a boy.

I used to think that it was because when my name is pronounced correctly, the words "big" and "thigh" can be heard. And let's face it, thighs are boyish things. And big thighs are manly things.

But then, in recent times, I have had to reconsider this supposition of mine. That's because I realized that when people read my name before they hear me say it, they're just guessing at its pronunciation... and they always guess wrong. So, when they're saying "Bith-thee-ah" in their heads, the "big" and "thigh" are totally lost. What then, I asked myself, is the cause of the consistent guessing that I'm O--> ?

The root cause, I have discovered, is this theory that I have named "The Feminine A and Masculine Consonants Theory". I think the title is sufficiently self-explanatory, but let me break it down into two parts for you anyway. The theory supposes that names ending in the letter A appear feminine, and names ending in consonants appear more masculine.

To demonstrate the first half of the theory, I shall conduct this brief experiment.

Classic Boy Names:
Michael
Alex
Daniel
Samuel
Bithiah

When you add an A to the end, they become:
Michaela
Alexa
Daniela
Samuela
Bithia

And to demonstrate the second half of the theory, see...

Classic Boy Names:
Daniel
Aidan
Brian
Jon
Bithiah

When you drop the consonant at the end, they become:
Danie
Aida
Bria
Jo
Bithia

Don't they look girly?

Welp. Thanks for coming here to learn today! I look forward to the day when children will be reading about the "The Feminine A and Masculine Consonants Theory" in textbooks in schools all around the world.

- bcl.