This day

Dear Today,

I am writing down everything that you did to me today so that one day, I can look back on you and either laugh or cry. 

Leave house.
Approach car.
Discover driver's seat door is locked and jammed.
Unlock trunk manually.
Climb in through trunk to unlock passenger door.
Climb out of trunk.
Climb into passenger seat to crawl into driver's seat.
Discover driver's door is still locked and jammed. Cannot open from inside.
Attempt to start car to no avail.
Crawl back out through passenger door.
Slam passenger door behind me.
Passenger door bounces back out.
Passenger lock stuck. Cannot close.
Go home.
Reheat leftovers in microwave.
Microwave stops 15 seconds in.
Microwave error message: This machine is no longer functioning properly. It can no longer be used. Please call Jen Hall ###-#### for assistance.
Eff you, futuristic appliances.
Attempt to adjust time on watch.
Watch dial is missing. Has fallen off. Nowhere to be found.
Fully potty-trained puppy jumps onto couch and pees out 20 seconds worth of pee.
Skype with dad.
Call dropped.
Skype with dad.
Call dropped.
Skype with dad.
Call dropped.
Skype with dad.
Call dropped.
Skype with dad.
Call dropped.
Skype with dad.
Call dropped.
Skype with dad.
Call dropped.
Decide to call it a night.
Reach for phone to set alarm.
Alarm clock widget suddenly broken.
Respond with frustration and ?!?!!
Until I realized that it was still today.
Then it made sense.

I bite my thumb at you, Today. You were so weird.
- bcl.