Finals.

I want to travel around the world, drink coffee with my heroes, sleep in a hammock & build camp fires under the stars

- bcl.

British Ginger

Ed Sheeran + Rupert Grint. So good.

Lego House.

Sip your latte, tap your feet, bob your head, dream of sunny afternoons outside wearing teal sunglasses.

Cheers!

bcl.

Textbook Failures

They do happen!

Blogosphere, I have seen them myself. Twice in one weekend, too!

Exhibit A: Running into pole (Ann Arbor, MI)

This guy was walking so briskly down Fuller and he was really focused on something going on across the street. I would have guessed that he was staring at some hot lady since he seemed one part lanky and many part creepy, but the only people on the other side of the street were the construction workers drilling holes into the concrete.

Maybe he was admiring/envying/coveting after their hard hats or safety green vests (I would be).

And then BAM, he just smacked the entire pole with his entire face and body, so hard. I actually thought he was going to fall back. He was thoroughly embarrassed. I didn't even know whether or not to laugh or to be concerned or to pretend like I didn't see it even though we were the only two people on that entire sidewalk for about a mile either way. I said nothing, but walked away, focusing on the thought that I had about what a great blog entry this would make for.

Exhibit B: (New York, NY)

Fancy restaurant + Fancy dinner + Fancy lady + Fancy outfit + Fancy shoes + trip to the fancy bathroom + coming out with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of her fancy shoe.

I thought about saying something to the lady, but it was.. too late. The moment slipped right past me. Instead of running after her, I made a mental note to add this to the blog entry that I had already planned on titling "textbook failures."

One of my very best ones!

bcl.

48-hour east coast tour

FRIDAY, Oct 7, 2011

23:30 Arrive 1335 Geddes #5, shower, throw a couple of dresses into a duffel bag

SATURDAY, Oct 8, 2011

01:00 Depart from Ann Arbor, MI

02:00 Arrive 178 Easton Dr., South Lyon, MI

08:00 Wake up, eat breakfast, change into big city-appropriate attire

13:30 Arrive Detroit Airport, park car in $10/day parking structure- Level 2, Zone Red B3

16:00 Plane takes off

18:00 Arrive Laguardia, NY Airport

18:45 Pick up rental car (free upgrade to SUV) from Dollar Rental (Don't let the name fool you. The rent was probably $1/30 seconds, and the employees behind the counter were rude)

18:50 Depart for Hilton hotel, Newark, NY

19:10 Change destination on tomtom to Confuscious Chinese Restaurant

20:30 Feast

23:30 Check-in Hilton, Room 1043

SUNDAY, Oct 9, 2011

09:30 Wake up call from Uncle Stanley

11:20 Lunch with the family in Room 843

11:30 Herded into cars

13:30 Arrive in NYC only to be told by Auntie Rosa that we arrived too early. Walked down 3rd Ave to the nearest Starbucks in full wedding attire. Indulged in lattes and pastries.

15:00 Wedding Ceremony

16:00 Photo shoot

17:00 Arrive hotel in Jersey to change into evening wear

18:45 Arrive Reception

After dancing the night away...

MONDAY, Oct 10, 2011

05:30 Wake up

06:30 Depart hotel

09:00 Flight departs from Laguardia to Detroit

11:30 Arrive in Detroit Airport

13:10 Political Science 389 in 3554 Mason Hall with glitter still on my eyelashes

Breathe.

Jersey City Love.

Congratulations, Tiff & Tom!

Welcome to the family, Carneys <3

bcl.

Hail

It's my last day of summer, blogosphere!

And on this very last day of my incredible summer vacation, I feel as if it is appropriate and highly necessary for me to write a blog post.

What should I write about?

Perhaps I could write about my summer in Hong Kong, my trip to visit my adorable little old man dad in China, filming YADA commercials in Philippino mansions, kayaking around the islands of Sai Keung, climbing waterfalls with Felix and our "see-lai-sat-sou" cousin (here's to you, Brian!), Nine out of Ten with relatives daily, Blockbuster season of superheroes, Empire magazine (Harry Potter limited ed.), my brothers and sisters in GPS, Auntie Christina & co., filming a documentary in Luoyang, secretly doing aerobics all summer long in my Hong Kong room behind closed door, adventures with 852 Hong Kong life group!, discovering Karen Yiu, the new season of quiet time discipline that unfolded, my refreshing reboot with Jesus, Langham sticker pictures (see: Facebook profile pictures), cake pops and Chapters on Highway 7, Tim Hortons meet-ups with my best friends, camp-fam reunions galore, the tennis racket that bruised my forearm every time I play with it, summer reading list (including, but not limited to: The Hunger Games trilogy (thank you, Karen), The Oxford Murders, Confessions, Nineteen Minutes), my itunes and Zen makeover, or watching my snake eat a huge toad.

I could write about those things.

But I'm not going to.

I choose to write about the first Michigan football game of the regular season on September 3, 2011, against Western Michigan.

It was an eventful day in general. I got up, and hurriedly threw some last-minute items into my bulging suitcases and laundry baskets. Then I made Felix and mom get up so they could drive me to campus (move-in day!). I wanted to be at my apartment in Ann Arbor by noon, but Felix didn't wake up until then. And then he decided he had to eat a baked potato and a bread stick before he could leave. We didn't arrive at my apartment until 1:30 pm. I unpacked as best I could, realized that I brought too much clothes to school, and sweated bullets. I kicked my family out at 2:30 and asked them to drop me off at the Union so I could meet my football friends. I wanted to deposit a check on the way. And then I realized halfway there that I had forgotten to bring my credit card. And then we had to go back and drop off the $600 check. And then I ran to the Union, afraid I'd be late. I was the first one there.

The line outside of the Stadium gates were long. I had never had to stand in line so long before. It was about 99.9 degrees Farenheit, sunny, dry, no clouds. SO HOT.

We listened to the first quarter of the game meters away from the Stadium entrance (the line just didn't move for all that time), and then, finally, holding our crumpled and partially-melted Section 31 Row 5 tickets, pushed our way down towards our seats... which were, of course, all taken by then. We somehow managed to kind of all find spots on the bleachers to stand on. It was so crowded and hot and nasty. But soon enough, my concerns about dehydration and sticky forearms touching me were swept away by the deafening chorus of cheers and "You Suck"s and "Hail"s, and replaced by a more pressing concern that I was going to drop the beach ball or miss doing the wave.

A little after halftime, suddenly, this large cloud came overhead from nowhere. Like, for real. It was so hot one minute and then suddenly, the stadium let out one loud, "ahhh" of relief. Minutes later, it started to pour. The raindrops were actually the hugest, most painful drops of water to have ever hit me. The "ahhh" turned into a roar of loud cheers and laughter. Except for Jean, who looked miserable, and Joe Yang, who was afraid the rain was going to make him sick.

The game got suspended. But by the time they made the announcement, the rain had stopped and the sun was making its quick re-entry. The refs decided on a 15-minute wait period. We stayed. The game resumed.

After another quarter, the storm came back. It was serious this time. Stadium evacuated. We got home at about 7:30, drenched and miserably but happily cold. We split ways to shower and change, and then regrouped at Carriage for a night of Ramen, Monopoly Deal, and funny youtube brainstorming.

My friend Jeff said it best when I ran into him as I was leaving the stadium, cold, sopping wet, hair matted down, and shirt thoroughly stuck to skin... "B. This is the most fun I have ever had at a football game here."

Hail.

We won the game.

Maybe it's just because I'm a senior this year, but I'm glad to be back in land of Maize and Blue.

- bcl.

Flake

What a gross word.

Blogosphere, I don't know what you immediately think of when you hear or see that word, but for me, I'm thinking of just a whole plethora of extremely unattractive things-- like, dead skin flakes, or dandruff; maybe the sick-smelling fish flakes I used to feed my Betta with (R.I.P., Dallas..). But today, when I hear or see the word, I'm thinking of the worst kind of all.. the most unwanted and unpleasant and rude.

A flake.

You know a flake. You're thinking of him/her(s) right now. Everyone knows a flake or two.

1. flake

n. an unreliable person; someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through.

2. flake

(verb, often used with "out") - To decide not to go at the last second; to "ditch" or "bail out."

3. flake

n. a useless, shady, deceitful person who is so unreliable and selfish they cause you much anger and frustration... A flake will make plans, .. and never attend, even after they spent hours calling or emailing you. You can never rely on a flake.

Thank-you, urbandictionary dot com, for such an enlightening and sadly accurate definition of such a person. And the thing about flakes is that if they had just been a little more honest with the victims of their flakiness right off the bat, they probably wouldn't be called a flake at all. All I mean is this: Flakes are rarely victims of unexpected circumstances. Imagine. Your friend is in town for a weekend and he or she sends you a message that says something along the lines of "Hey! I'm visiting for the wknd. Let me know if you're free cause I'd love to see you for a bit to catch up!". Let's be honest. Upon the reception of such a message, you already know whether or not you are going to end up seeing this friend. It's so clear to you since you're a flake.

Now if only you would make it that clear to your "friend" too.

Now I'm not saying that flakes don't like their friends or that they are are horrible people with dark black hearts, and I'm sure that they would in fact like to see their friends on occasion. But alas, they have an insanely large family reunion planned for that weekend, or they are scheduled to work, or it's Grandma Yogi's 90th birthday party on Saturday, or they know that their parents would never lend them the car for the weekend, or they know that they have a class presentation that afternoon, or they recently bought a yacht and therefore can't afford to go out and spend money for the next 3 months, or maybe they just know that they are flaky people with reputations of flakily flaking on their non-flaky and fellow flaky friends alike.

Those may all be great reasons to avoid seeing your visiting-for-the-weekend friend, and since you already know that all that is going down that very weekend, you should just tell your friend "Hey, I'd love to see you but unfortunately, Yogi, my nana, is turning freaking ninety and I'll be at her birthday bash all weekend long. Let me know the next time you're in town!"... immediately.

If you respond to your friend [several times.. flakes always respond back and forth several times before they pull the flake trigger, don't they?] with any message other than the above, then you have just created the worst sort of flake party. See, you must remember that while you already know that you won't be seeing your friend and that the fun back-forth banter/plans are just out of your own politeness, your "friend" actually thinks that he or she is going to see you. And he or she is already canceling other plans in order to meet with you. So you see, jack-hole, I put "friends" in quotations because after a stint like this, you're not allowed to call them that anymore.

Flakes.

Unless you're made out of snow or covered in frost, I dislike you and what you do and all that you stand for. And I am not telling you the next time that I'm in town for the weekend.

[Afterthought: It may just be me. I have the worst sort of luck with these last-minute changes of plan or cancellations. Maybe I can conduct some studies to find out for sure. I'll keep you all updated, bloggies.]

- bcl

A-Game

Why do you always want to court aged men?

Calling all senior citizens of the GTA.

Must love God. Must be well-aged.

White hairs optional.

Walking stick provided.

-- Veto, skype 2011

I think this is the most hilarious that I have ever been. I am with my best friend right now (for the first time in far too long) and I am just so happy to be with her.

Chev, I thank God for you everyday..

To quote Renae.

- bcl.

At the end of the yellow brick road..

The plane landed yesterday at approximately 12:30 p.m. in Detroit, Michigan.


God gave me a very special welcome-home present. The weather was perfect. The sky is so blue, the air is so fresh, the grass is so green, the clouds are so white. You know, the whole shindig.

When I arrived home yesterday, at 178 Easton Dr. of South Lyon, Michigan, I felt so happy. It was almost kind of weird. Like, I couldn't even explain what I was so happy and giddy about.

But I will say this: I absolutely marveled at the size of everything in my house, including the actual house. Especially my refrigerator. I'm serious. I must have the world's most enormous fridge. I couldn't get over it. I just stared at it and opened and closed it, then opened and closed it again. Also, I took my socks off and walked around on my carpet, which has never felt so soft. (I haven't stepped on carpet in three months). And I don't think I have ever been so happy to see the ready supply of microwave popcorn in my cupboard.. along with the large unopened bag of Lay's ketchup chips waiting for my arrival, which Felix and I gladly finished off in a few hours.

And oh my God. My bed.

With the combination of intense jet lag (on top of an all-nighter the day before) and my own bed and blanket, I don't think I have ever had such a good night's sleep.

So, in conclusion, to quote Dorothy, "there's no place like home."



-bcl.

The biggest lie I ever told

Person 1: Well, this is it. Our last night here. We're flying home tomorrow. I'm so sad. I'm really going to miss this.

Person 2: Yes, but that's okay. We're going home so at least you'll get to be home and see those friends.

Person 1: I know, but, well, it's just that.. you know. This place. These people. I'm going to miss it all.

Person 2: Yeah. But don't worry. Home's good. You're going to be okay. We're going to be okay. And take it from someone who's been around and has had to say a lot of goodbyes. It all gets easier. You get used to it.

Liar.

It never gets easier and you never get used to it.

Don't get me wrong.

Of course I like to travel and to meet new people. But that's only because I make new friends without the intention of ever leaving them. I never think about how after our time together, we will have to part ways; maybe for a little while. Maybe for a long time. Or maybe forever. Because if I made friends that way, well.. I'd never make any.

I spend too much of my time missing someone or some place or some thing. Every moment that I spend in one place with one person is a moment that I'm not spending in some other place with some other person. I can never have it all.

Because Life is an adventure. But if you aren't careful, it might end up being a very lonely one.

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?

I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.

I have to learn to better seal my blessings and to make some room in my suitcase so that I can pack them up and keep them forever. Take them with me wherever I go next.

Hong Kong, it's been real. Hello-goodbye.

- bcl.

Grad, class, remedy

Hello blogosphere.

Friday night was grad night, which was great. Grad Night is always a much-anticipated night; an exciting event marked by testimonies, videos, nice outfits, and lots of pictures. I was serving that night on Docs so it was a slightly different angle than previous years for me, but I was blessed nonetheless, and really actually enjoyed the night's festivities.

God only knows that I love frontline.

I am totes-m'gotes bummed about missing their commencement this year, so had to take a preemptive photos-with-the-seniors strike at grad night. I felt a little foolish and vain for walking around with a camera snapping photos with all of the seniors since I wasn't graduating myself.

Oh well.

After grad night, it always becomes class night.

Remedy went to Denny's.

It was the best. I haven't had that much fun (in general) in a long time, and maybe never in my class (except for last spring's mafia night).

The single long table in the middle of the restaurant was already taken by G.A. when we arrived, so Remedy was seated in this corner filled with about 5 booths. The aisle in between us was small so we just talked to each other across the way and got up and moved about in that area between all the tables.

The conversations that night were grrrrrrreat.

We began with psycho tests/quizzes where your answers supposedly reveal something about yourself. Then we segway-ed into horror stories. And then we told stories with holes/logic games.

Highlight-- I had just finished telling a scary Chinese legend/story. Keep in mind that at this point, we were all already a little creeped out and jumpy from the previous stories. Right after I finished telling my story, the power went out. All of it. Even the street lights in the parking lot right outside of the window we were sitting next to were out.

Everyone screamed. Hilarity ensued.

And also, see photo:

This is the story of Andrew Lee's life.

Blessed.

Love, Remedy.

bcl.

I'm running this time

and fading fast.

It doesn't matter which way I'm running, as long as it takes me away.

You think you know. You wish you cared more.

But you have no idea.

Get to the horizon. And then you just keep going. Faster and faster you flee..

and then, gone.

bcl.

The thing is, I miss Him.

You know how people always associate children with joy and freedom?

When I see a small child at a park, laughing and brimming with immense glee, of course my heart fills with joy. But beyond that joy, there is a sadness, isn't there?

There's something that is so happy and so sad at the same time about the scene.

It's rooted in envy. Found in what has been lost to me.

That I don't look like that anymore. That this child can be so surrounded with joy, while I cannot. I look closer at the scene laid out before me in my own imaginings and note that the sky really is bluer here. The clouds are whiter, the grass is greener, and the sun is brighter. The air even smells fresh; clearer here.

And the sadness creeps in again as I realize that in my current state, climbing up the slide will not provide the same joy to me.

I miss that swinging feeling.

Of course, I can still swing now. But though the swing remains completely unchanged, the girl climbing onto it has not.

I miss my God.

I miss the uncontainable joy and love and intimacy that once flowed between us. I look back to just two years ago when I first started college and encountered God face-to-face for the first time. The excitement. The passion. The fire. How worship used to move me. A powerful night of prayer would refresh my spirit, and God's whisper brought much comfort.

But now I need a shout.

Dear Lord I miss you.

- bcl.

Test: F

I have so little faith.

There is a genuine lack of trust in God that I have discovered within my own heart this year. I struggle with a dangerous, relentless sense of unbelief. Trust me. I know.

How?

Because this has been a year defined by one test after another after another. And by test, I mean failed test. God has been stretching me this year in more ways than I could have ever dreamed up. His creativity truly knows no bounds, I guess. The challenges have been non-stop, and with those unending times of trials, came a plethora of tests of faith. Some bigger than others.

Edge-of-the-cliff moments. God saying to me, "Okay. You say you think you trust me. You say you think you know that I am your Heavenly Father who loves you and will catch you. That I have a good plan for you. That my timing is perfect. That you are not forgotten. That I hear your prayers. That I am your Jehovah-Jireh. That I am right here always.

Now jump."

World, I couldn't do it.

The Leap of Faith was asking too much of me.

Tonight at the docs meeting, we did a Bible study on the last bit of James, chapter 5. The title of the passage? The Prayer of Faith.

Didn't see that one coming. But I should have.

Immediately after leaving the docs meeting, I received a worrying e-mail.. and just like that, cue panic mode. My small, precarious, yielding, tremulous, and evidently shaky faith (if you can call it that) gave way. A brutal collapse of all things of peace and truth.. and I along with it.

The e-mail that I received tonight was such a small matter.

Just before writing this post, in my state of frenzied worry, I heard my God.

"Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt? This was but the smallest set-back (again, if you can call it that) and how quickly you were to flounder and break. Come on. Get up. I'm still trying to work on you. I need to continue to strengthen your faith. Trust me. Let me."

So James 5, The Prayer of Faith, eh? Here I come.

I want to be a woman of faith.

-bcl