Superman Syndrome

Blogosphere,

So it turns out that Superman Syndrome is a real thing after all. Like so many other unfortunate youths, I, too, once thought myself invincible. And though I don't think I would have actually said this aloud, deep, deep down, I have spent the last several years silently reassuring myself time and time again, "But that can't happen to me."

When my friends and family heard that I was going to Thailand, they all responded with a chorus of oohs and ahhs and "I'm so jealous!"s. But they also warned me about the dangers of traveling alone with so many valuables on me. "B, you really need to be careful there! Don't keep all of your money in one place, okay? Try to keep your important documents locked up in a safe. Don't leave your belongings out and about. Get one of those special straps that you wear underneath your clothes to keep your passport in. Don't leave your things unattended, okay?" And even though I always responded to such concerns with enthusiastic nods and promises to do or not do all of those things that they told me to do or not do, on the inside, I let myself succumb to the comforting lull of "Don't worry, it won't happen to you..."

And now, of course, only two days into my trip, I find myself embarrassed, shaken up, and so, so wrong.

As with so many unfortunate incidents, I responded first with disbelief, followed by anger at my perpetrator, and then lastly, anger and disappointment in myself. I turned the event around in my head over and over again, replaying my every move, every word. I revisited the final moment I can remember before the theft and retraced my steps carefully.

B: (comes out of the first shower stall)
A: (comes out of second shower stall)
B: Hey, do you think it'll be okay for me to leave my stuff out here on the bathroom counter like this?
A: Mmm.. I think so..
B: Yeah, you're probably right.

How could I have gone so wrong? Why did I think that that would be okay?

I'm not sure I can confidently answer those questions even now, but I do know one thing. I will never, ever again see my two TSA-approved 3 fluid-ounce travel sized shampoo or conditioner ever again! The pesky thief left no clue, and I have no idea how to begin the search and rescue. I thought about contacting the authorities, but apparently, the policemen in Thailand are far too understaffed to respond to this type of report. So that's it, then. They are gone. My two perfectly small bottled shampoo and conditioner, which I spent a painstaking five to ten minutes carefully selecting from Meijer. Aside from the loss of such good-smelling and nourishing hair cleansers, I am also aggressively aware of the fact that those five minutes have now become an official waste of my time (and Felix's, who had to wait patiently with me in Meijer and hold my shopping basket while I carefully made my way down the travel aisle, unscrewing the cap of every brand of shampoo, sniffing each open bottle deeply).

As shocking as this event is to me, I feel that it was really important for me to document and share my experience with all of you right away and to implore you to stop thinking that you're invincible or that you're immune to horrible accidents and unfortunate incidents because your travel-ready soaps, too, are never really safe.

R.I.P., little guys.

Hahahahahaaaa!

Wiser,
- bcl.