I am a lover of words.
I appreciate good usage of language. I like good writing, good conversation, and good literature.
Or at least that is what I would have told you a week ago.
This past week of being in Thailand has been strange for me for an assortment of reasons. I've eaten so many new foods (served on sticks or in bags), I've become fast friends with people from all over the world in the shortest amount of time in the history of the formation of friendships, and I've visited many new markets and monuments that I have never had the pleasure of experiencing before. But the strangest-- and saddest-- reason thus far is the new development in my relationship with words and with language that I see taking place before my very eyes.
I feel that very few things are more important in this world than good communication. I think the proper usage of language is imperative to expressing ideas, gaining and sharing knowledge, and developing relationships. I do truly believe in the power of the pen; I've seen it in action! In fact, that's how my love affair with words began so many years ago. I was so amazed at what one can accomplish using only language. That someone can make me feel this way with his or her words; that someone can change my mind or start a war. That even though a picture is worth a thousand words, not enough people acknowledge the magic that takes place when a picture is painted using only a thousand words.
Ever since the initial seduction, my relationship with words has grown steadily. Hand in hand we have walked, crossing over from one adventure to the next and documenting the journey together. During this past week, however, I have discovered something new about this life partner that I have come to know so well. He speaks another language.
In fact, apparently, he speaks many more languages than the ones we have always spoken to each other in.
As I have made my way around Bangkok this week, he has started to stray from me. He leaves me standing alone for minutes (even hours) at a time while he talks and laughs with the locals. I have never known such isolation. I walk up and down and up and down the streets by myself, squinting at street signs and feeling dizzy from the Thai heat and loud buzz of words that I don't recognize. Illiteracy is crippling. My inability to communicate with anyone in this place both frustrates and scares me. Am I on this street on the map or that one? Is she trying to rip me off? Is he hitting on me? Was that a friendly offer to help or a request for sex? Was I supposed to turn left back there? Because I turned right.. I think. Is this chicken or rabbit? He told me this wasn't going to be spicy! How could I owe this much for such a short cab ride? The tea I ordered looks suspiciously like 7-Up. So, I'm still 2 minutes away from my hostel.. or was that 2 miles? Am I seriously lost again? I'm pretty sure that I am.
Yesterday, I was trudging slowly through the very hot, crowded Pratunam Market when I stopped to look at some denim shorts in a stall. I looked around at the different prices hanging along the wall, trying to make sense of the numbers and small Thai symbols. Is it 80 baht for one pair, and 120 baht for three pairs; or is is 120 baht for one pair, and 80 baht a pair if you buy three pairs? My eyes shifted uncomfortably back and forth between all the different signs in the small tent when suddenly, the shop owner stuttered in a choppy, broken English, "Where you from? You can't read? Don't know how to read? Are you from farm?"
I am not from a farm. As a matter of fact, I grew up in the U.S.A. and I graduated from a very well-known University. Back home, I am also an exceptional reader.
But I am not at home. I am in Thailand. And in Thailand, I am fully illiterate. I can't read, write, or even speak the language. I replaced the pair of shorts I was examining slowly onto its rack, turned, and walked out of the tent as the shop owner muttered something to or about me under his breath. He was either making fun of me, feeling sad for me, or angry that I didn't make a purchase. I might have spent more time trying to figure out which of the three it was if I wasn't too busy thinking about how powerless I suddenly felt without words at my side. And how much like a monkey I felt, communicating with the humans around me using only hand gestures and nods and shakes of my head. Every decision here takes the form of a guessing game; sometimes I win, and sometimes I lose.
(Subway sign that may or may not read, "RUN. If you do not hurry,
you will absolutely get run over by the people behind you. Slower
walkers have been known to die at this BTS station. Authorities
will not tolerate slow walkers")
(I saw this Thai sign in between two massage chairs at
a mall in Chiang Mai. It probably either says "For skinny
people only," or "No Photographs please")
(Billboard that may either be an advertisement for happy
children, for saving the trees by saving paper, or for the
celebration of small red and white buses)
English and Chinese do not help me here. This world is so much bigger than the one that I have known, and I trust that it's only to get bigger from here on out.
For the first time ever,
Illiterate,
bcl.
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