Snakes on a Plane

Dear Blogosphere,

DTW Detroit International Airport

Good morning from Bangkok, Thailand!

If you're reading this, I'm assuming that it's because you're either my friend (or family) who cares about me and my well-being. (If you are not either, then you should probably leave because this is weird). And because you're all caring friends and family, I feel like most of you are concerned about similar things and would therefore want to ask similar questions about my travels. In an attempt to address as many of your collective concerns at once as possible, I have decided to provide you all with the following transcript of what I think is the conversation that you're all dying to have with me. I will be playing both roles in the following interview, of course. 

Me: Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I've arrived safely in Bangkok. 

You: Yay, so exciting! How was the flight?

Me: Fine. The first flight was great, the second one was like, not that great, but it's fine. I'm here in Thailand now!

You: Aww, wait, why? What happened?

Me: Ha, so you know the movie, Snakes on a Plane?

You: What..? 

Me: Yep, pretty much. 

You: Hold on, wait. What? 

Me: Okay, just kidding. There were no snakes on the plane. Nor was there any Samuel L. Jackson. But I did faint on the flight from Tokyo to Bangkok, and it was so lame. I wanted to actually title this blog post "Faints on a Plane" at first, but then I thought that no one would automatically make the connection that "Faints on a Plane" rhymes with "Snakes on a Plane"-- because honestly, who would do that-- and would therefore nullify my cleverness. I probably could have cleared the whole thing up if I had just titled it "Bithiah Faints on a Plane" but then I realized that that's not cool at all. Not even a little bit cool.

You: What? You fainted on the plane? What happened?

Me: Exactly that.

You: So you just...

Me: Yeah, the second flight was rough. I just remember that I was really pretty tired and uncomfortable for that whole 7-hour flight. I think I was just exhausted-- I hadn't slept in like, 24 hours at this point-- and maybe a bit dehydrated and dizzy from the overhead light. I was sitting in between two strangers, so I couldn't sleep very well. There was this very nice middle-aged man to my right and a very nice little old lady to my left. At one point, I was sleeping and then I suddenly jolted awake with a dizzy spell of sorts. I opened my eyes and saw everything spinning fiercely and I had the hugest desire to throw up. I didn't want to vomit on the people next to me, so I tapped the little old lady and told her I needed to get out. I might as well have hurled all over her since she did not escape unscathed from the incident anyway.. I stumbled out into the aisle and I'm pretty sure I stepped on her foot. I think I was trying to go to the bathroom but then I must have ended up falling into that small weird little hallway thing next to it. And then! IT WAS JUST LIKE A MOVIE. Things were kind of blurry and everyone's voices quietly distant-sounding. I could hear this little flight attendant asking me if I was okay and then her yelling for a "doctor on board? Is there a doctor on board? Please!" and then people were standing over me and they were kind of blurry and they asked me all these questions. They took my pulse, told me I was sweaty, and made me drink orange juice. I remember feeling really embarrassed and that this was funny. And I also remember feeling strangely aware and upset about the fact that I was lying on a super dirty floor. But, at least this whole thing ended up being one of those 'woo-hoo-humanity!' moments since so many strangers really demonstrated kindness that night. People offered to switch seats with me, asked after me, and kept trying to bring me things that would help me feel better. Very sweet. 

You: Have you made any friends yet?

Me: Yes! I've made like, seven friends! Actually, you can't really call them that since most of us will never see each other again. But if you're interested, I have met: nice seatmate professor lady; tiny little Hong Kong lady who could only speak Cantonese; Thai woman who wants to buy me things and tell me secrets and who keeps calling me "sweetie" and "hun"; man from Syracuse; Canadian nurse; American doctor; and old man who took note of my Michigan sweater and told me that even though he's an Ohio-State alum, he thought Michigan was a very, very, very good school.

You: That's great! So what are you doing now?

Me: Well, I arrived at the hostel close to 1 AM yesterday, brushed my teeth and crawled into bed. I think I slept fairly well. I am about to meet with one of the owners in a little bit to chat more about what I'm doing with them today. I'll let you know when I know. 

You: Alright, cool. Yeah, just keep me posted on everything!

Me: Okay! Oh and also, it is SO HOT here. I'm so hot.

Me: Oh, and one more thing! At the Narita-Tokyo airport, their bathrooms.. have those BUTT WASH TOILETS. Ahahahahaaaa!

love,

bcl.