They are waiting for you where you most want to be

For those of you who have ever felt very alone in a decision that you've made. For those of you who sometimes think that you must be the only person in the world who acts or thinks a certain way. For those of you who have ever found yourself insecure, doubtful about a choice you've made. This is for you.

Humans were not made to live life alone. Community and relationships are desired by everyone. Some may be able to survive with less of both, but nevertheless, they, too, will suffer through times of longing for companionship and understanding.

For those who find that they are more often progressing down a path off the beaten track than they seem to be moving with the masses, it can be a tired journey. They may wander off the main path, braving the unknown with nothing more than a flashlight in one hand and a secret dream in the other, hoping-- praying-- that they'll like what they find or that they'll find what they like. Right before veering away from the familiar, these individuals pause at the edge of the trail, turning around to wave one last goodbye to their family and friends, smiling to reassure their peers as well as themselves that they're going to be fine on their own. "I'll survive. Don't worry about me," they say, "I chose this. This way is better for me." And with one final, determined turn of their heads, they're gone.

Alone, they battle true horrors. Doubts creep in. They begin to feel cheated. "I left the main path because someone promised me that if I came this way, I would find a treasure infinitely more valuable than the one everyone else I left behind will come across." They think to themselves, "I was told my courage would be rewarded. But is this truly better? Maybe I should head back." But by the time they realize these fears, it's too late to change their minds; the trail and the people are too far behind. That's just a distant memory now.

For many years now, I have been waiting to jump off the main path. That life just never appealed to me. I didn't crave a traditional career, success, or wealth. But please believe me when I say that I don't think that I'm better than tradition. Far from being above all of that, I grew up in middle-class suburban neighborhoods, took piano and violin lessons, played soccer and basketball, got a dog, went to church, graduated from the University of Michigan with honors, and then immediately began working full-time. I played along for all that time. But, after a year of working a corporate desk job, I was bored. I had the most terrible itch to ditch the 9-to-5 and to try something new. And so I decided to quit my job, and to travel and adventure for a year instead. At the time, I was enthusiastic and proud of my decision. I thought everyone around me would feel the same way, too. And they did.. but only partially.

Me: "I quit my job, and I'm going to travel and see beautiful things this year."

Friend: "Oh, that's so amazing! I'm so excited for you. You're going to have such an amazing time. I'm totally jealous of you. You're so lucky!"

Me: "Well, hey, you don't have to be jealous of me. You can do it too! You should come travel with me."

Friend: "Oh... I really wish that I could, but I have to work."

Me: "But, I thought--"

Friend:"I also don't have any money to travel. Oh, you are just so lucky!"

Me: "I don't have any more money than you do to travel... I just decided that it was worth it for me to spend my money trying something new at this time, you know."

Friend: "Oh yeah.. that's great! That's really great for you."

And there it is. For you, but not for me. So with abundant applause and good wishes, they sent me away. With bags packed and tickets purchased, I set off for Thailand. I had a 23-hour flight to ask myself lots of questions. "Since all of my friends and family are busy working, no one wanted to travel with me. Am I crazy for wanting to do this? If this was really as great as everyone claims to think it is, why am I on this plane by myself? Am I being irresponsible? Do I really want this, or am I just running away from something? Am I the only person who has decided that this temporary "sacrifice" of a career and paycheck is worthwhile? Is there anyone else who thinks this too? Where are all of the other adventurers?"

The answer: ADVENTURING.

One of the very best things about traveling to Thailand is that I got to spend time with so many like-minded individuals. I found courage and assurance in them. While I was there, no one ever asked me to explain myself, like so many back home did. No one asked me how I was paying for the trip, exactly how long I was going to travel for, or what I was going to do afterwards. No one asked me to justify my decisions to them. Among the travelers, the only question that seemed to pass was, what's your story? Together, we enjoyed and celebrated life and adventure. Surrounded by complete strangers, I felt strangely at home. Like I was among friends. We shared about how we arrived in Thailand, how many miles our backpacks have endured, which restaurants we enjoyed, and whether or not it was better to travel around Thailand in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction. We shared our own fears and doubts about relationships and unemployment, sure, but there was no condemnation. We understood. The relief I enjoyed in Thailand was refreshing. I no longer worried that I was the only idiot who took a break from work to play. I was looking for other travelers, and I found them traveling.

I don't believe that any one is truly alone in their decisions. You don't have to feel insecure about your choices. You are not the only person in the world who acts or feels this way-- whichever way it is; there are people who understand. And they are waiting for you where you most want to be.

Go join them!

- bcl.